Mad Scanner Escapes Earth Asylum

Luther Christ, a mentally deranged scanner believed to have committed several human murders, escaped Earth’s Arkham Lunatic Asylum yesterday. A guard’s exploded head and a blinded front desk watchman marked Christ’s path out of his minimum security “cell”. Sheriff Emmet Path...

CEO of GNN inspects Space Station 005

Mike Hearod, Chief Executive Officer of GNN (Galactic News Network) inspected the new Space Station 005 and gave it “Thumbs Up” approval. His visit included fishing at Lake Goddard in the Flying Park, dining at Chez Armstrong, purchasing Cuban cigars, and buying some movies to watch during his...

New Drug Can Triple Lifespan

The new drug Trioxin-64 can at least triple the lifespan of most lifeforms. This miracle of health science has only one known side-effect, Rotting Flesh Syndrome, also known as “Zombie Rot”. Even with the decayed flesh and putrid rotting smell, people are lining up in droves to purchase this...

New Hyper Matter Reactor Online

The brand-spanking-new hyper matter quantum-level fusion reactor is turned on today at the new Intersolar Space Station Alpha. The power output is virtually more energetic than the combined output of a dozen exploding pulsars. “This makes the Intrasolar Space Station (Alpha) the most powerful known...

Krell Prophet Predicts End of Universe

A youthful Krell prophet warns that, “The end of the Universe is nigh!” The enigmatic Krellian Species, only 3 have ever been encountered, sent a warning to Known Space after 1033 solar years of silence. The message warns of entropy and cataclysmic events of a universal scale happening in 1000...

Uppitty Interstellar Corp Suffers Yet Another God-Awful Failure

The latest failure of Uppitty Interstellar Corp’s family PFV (planet-fall vehicle) sets back public opinion of “Made On Earth” products. “Our PFV will still be on the market by next month, and totally safe, too.” says Chief Executive Officer of Uppitty Interstellar,...